“The Zone 2 Chronicles: A Tale of Toilets and Garmin”

It all started as a noble mission: a solo Zone 2 ride, where heart rates stay low, egos are left at home and desperately trying not to be overtaken by mountain bikers. The goal was simple — cruise at a comfortable pace and enjoy the scenery. What I didn’t plan for, however, was a full-blown Tour de Toilet across at least three unsuspecting farmer’s fields.

Within the first 20 minutes, my bladder started plotting against me. With no public toilet in sight and dignity slipping faster than my average wattage, I made a quick detour into the nearest field. I’m not saying I was proud of it… but I was grateful there wasn’t electric fencing.

No electric fences but an audience of fury friends.

By the time the third field came around, I had reached a level of stealth that would make a Navy SEAL jealous. Every rustle of grass sent my heart rate spiking — not because of the effort, but the fear of a farmer catching me mid-business, sprinting out of a hedgerow while trying to pull my bib shorts up.

And then, the climbs.

As any Zone 2 purist knows, the real challenge isn’t going fast — it’s going slow. Slower than your legs can go. Slower, in fact, than your Garmin can detect. It buzzed: “Paused.”

Still, despite the toilet drama and the Garmin gaslighting, I really enjoyed the ride. So here’s to more miles, more hills — and maybe next time, one less farmer’s field.

Article written By Olivia King.